Wasp Whispering

Wasp Whispering by Sting Ray                                                 May 2/20

One evening, while having friends over for dinner, one lady, I’ll call her Goonie Bird, was with us and is prone to offering, while you eat, that what you’re tucking into was going to kill you in a long, lingering, painful way. This was good for weight loss; she was an infrequent guest.

One thing she did share with me ungastronomicaly, was how to deal with Wasps, Yellow Jackets in particular, also known to me as Flying Badgers for their ferocious tenacity tho leaving YOU with the last word in any encounter, usually OW!

Bees I can tolerate and will do anything for-if I see a bee floating in a bucket of water, I will scoop it out and put it safely to dry. If I see a wasp in the same bucket then DUNK! I’ll then put it out to dry once the water has evaporated.

What Dear Goonie told me is, if a wasp comes round and gets in your face, DON’T do Kung Fu ( save that for the Spider webs later in the fall ) as that motion just pisses them off and they are like the Scots temperamentally as John Cleese tells it; Scots only have two emotional levels..Pissed Off, and Let’s GET the BASTARDS…and that describes a wasp to a ‘P’.

SO, what should be done then, is gently blow on them, apparently, that’s ‘Wasp’ for “I don’t want to deal/heal with you right now’ and they turn tail (the business end) and fly off, and darned if it doesn’t work!

I was sharing this with another friend one day to their disbelief when, as Noah would have it, TWO wasps arrived! I wafted gently on my aggressor and it lammed it!

My friend, blew on his and it flew too! Hey, that works he waxed enthusiastically, but, it’ll be back, right?

I don’t think so, I said, it flew over by me and then dropped out of the air onto the lawn, dead. Turning to him I said…you didn’t brush your teeth this morning, did you.