My fave band, Odds 2nd album/ Backstage Pass
RayMan Had a Little Lam by Wry Ramsay
*an excerpt from Promo Monkey 3: The Chat Trick*
People LOVE to peek behind the curtain of
the Music (and Entertainment Biz in general) to see what REALLY goes on back there (What are you hiding? Pretty much everything!) BUT you aren’t getting back there without Accreditation (which is approved in advance of the event) the credentials
being known as a Backstage Pass with various levels of access to see a band practising some Dark Art or Rite, possibly cannibalism, unexpectedly.
The Backstage Pass is casually known as a ‘Lam’ in the best incorrect English possible, the Music Biz have done more harm to the English Language by developing their own argot, not unlike the ‘Carnies’ from traveling Circuses or Carnivals,
than Trump has done to Common Sense.
In the early days of shows/Touring, access was identified on a ‘sticky’ which was a fabric patch
complete with details on the front and a very sticky surface on the back for adhering to your good clothes, which came, on its own, with a hefty Dry Cleaning bill to get all sticky shit off; expense it! Part of the Gob…sorry JOB!
These gradually gave way to the more manageable access accreditation now known as a laminate, ergo ‘Lam’ which came with clips or lanyards which looped
around your neck.
Over the years I kept a fair amount of these lams as souvenirs, as if the emotional scars alone weren’t enough.
I employed some of these lams ( Cue Bo Peep) in my books (Promo Monkey: My Life as a BellHop in the Waldorf Hysteria, Promo Monkey: Monkey See, Monkey TWO,
and possible a 3rd epic which would include this bit of drivel in Promo Monkey 3: The Chat Trick should the first two live) as an interesting way to dress up the narrative, but as I have a box full of these (the Lam Yard) I only used a few and what
follows is even fewer so enjoy what you missed!
RayMan: Exultant Consultant, irreverent revenant, Wordsmith & Humorist